Winning the War

As I rang in 2015, I made some promises to myself. NOT resolutions - promises. I promised myself that I would make healthy choices, take time to take care of ME, do more of what I loved, and challenge myself to be a better human being.

I am a woman. I am a Fragile X pre-mutation carrier. I am a Mom of a child with special needs. It has been easy to fall back on some of these facts and say…"I don't have time to work out", "I don't have the energy to work out", "I don't have enough money to buy all organic foods", "My depression/anxiety prevent me from doing x-y-z", "My metabolism is changing and I'm fighting a losing battle." I decided to silence that negative inner monologue and take the steps I knew I needed to in order to be a happier, healthier Mama.


Santa Claus was privy to my motivation to make some life changes and was kind enough to bring me the Focus T25 workout program for Christmas. I have been working out 25 minutes a day for 5 days a week for almost 5 weeks now. I have also challenged myself to start practicing Bikram yoga once a week. Most days I love getting my workout in as soon as I can. Some days I don't feel like doing it at all - but I do. I am keeping these promises to myself.




I have done, and will continue to do, a lot of work on my emotional relationship with food. It isn't easy to dig deep into your own psyche and ask the difficult questions. Emotions can be icky and often aren't easy to identify and label, much less accept and acknowledge. This is an emotional journey as much as a physical one.

Like many women, I am plagued with a poor body image. I hate my body. I don't like looking at it. I feel very disconnected from it most of the time. In my head, I'm a cute little petite thing that looks great in any outfit I try on. The mirror tells a different story. As I get older and continue to carry extra weight, I am at risk for developing a whole host of conditions: high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, etc. Not only will the choices I make affect my health, they will affect my family's well-being. Even if I didn't have the strength to make some positive changes for myself, I knew I had to make them for my wife and son. They deserve the best Mama I can be and if I am sick or gone I have failed them.

So I am doing this. Taking care of myself. I have been surprised to find that I can eat what I love and feel great about my choices. Getting into a routine has been easier than I imagined. I LOVE Bikram yoga and despite what I had built up in my head, I do not look like a complete moron while doing it and no one has laughed at me! There will be challenges and set backs. I actually gained a pound this week - BOO! But I will maintain my focus and keep the big picture in mind. I am so fortunate to have the support of my family and friends and could not do any of this without them. Together we will win this war!