Happy Holidays?

It's the most hyper-aroused time of the year

With the food really smelling

And everyone yelling so cover your ears

It's the most hyper-aroused time of the year

It's the crap-crapiest season of all

With those holiday greetings, please don't force eyes meeting

When friends come to call 

It's the crap-crapiest season of all 

OK - I'm not a grinch, really. But when you have a child with special needs, the holidays can be even more stressful than usual. When your child has a sensory processing disorder, or is easily hyper-aroused, like our son, large family gatherings can be a challenge. 

Each year we are getting better at navigating the large family gatherings. We prep with social stories, pictures of people we are going to see, what we will do while we are there, etc. We be sure to have a "FX Survival Kit" with us that contains chewy tubes, a weighted compression vest, highly preferred activities and items. We take lots of breaks, go for walks, and do heavy work to help keep the hyper-arousal at bay. But if I'm being completely honest…I feel like I have just as hard a time as my son sometimes. I surely have more anxiety and stress leading up to the events than he does and I wish I was better at giving myself the tools (and permission) to relax and enjoy these times instead of dreading them. 

We are all about family - they are our support system and our biggest fans. You have a short-hand with these people that raised you and you grew up with that no one else could possibly understand. If you are in my family, we even have a secret language! I am extremely close with my parents and my brother. I consider my Mom my best friend and we talk on the phone several times a day. I realize not everyone has, or would even want this type of relationship with their mother, but it is all that I know and I wouldn't have it any other way. That being said…it can make navigating the holidays difficult now that I have married into a family much larger than my own. A family with different traditions but with the same emphasis on spending time together as a family during the holiday season. I often consider it both a blessing and a curse that both mine and my wife's families are in the same city as this makes logistics on these big days quite complicated. Everyone wants to be together on THE DAY and now that us kids are older, getting married, and starting families of our own it makes it near impossible to get everyone in the same place at the same time for a length of time that is equal to that which you are spending with the other side of the family so no feelings get hurt. And God forbid we suggest all being in the same place at the same time! I am doing my best to teach my 5 year old the importance of sharing, but what example are we setting if we can't all be in the same place at the same time and share the affections and attentions of our loved ones? It's enough for me to just throw my hands up and cancel Christmas. 

But I won't. Because these traditions are important. Family is important. Compromises will be made. Feelings will be hurt. But we will find a way to make it all work. I am truly thankful for all of my family - biological, in-laws, chosen friends, FX family, etc. We will focus on all of these positive relationships and celebrate them during this magical season.